A Letter from Santa

Last week Shana told me she had a letter from Santa for Brock and she gave it to me to read to Brock when I got home. She took some time made it real "official" and did a great job.
On the way home from school I brought up Santa and Brock asked if he lives in the sky I said no, Jesus lives in the sky. Santa lives at the North Pole way farther than Illinoise, were papa Jim lives..He said ..Oh... And I said he was magic…His elves make all the toys and he flies his sleigh and lands on the roof and goes down the chimney with the toys…He asked how does he fit? I said he is magic… Brock said I like magic…and Santa :)
So we get home.... after we got settled ... I said I was going to go check the mail box and I came up stairs.."Brocky! I said. Santa sent you a letter!!. He was like, "He did?" I was like yea lets read it and we did and he was really into it and his mouth was open..we read it 2-3 times. He kept asking me to read it again....The letter spoke about how he needs to be a good boy and listen to mama and daddy and not through fits and cry. So after I read it to him a few times... for some reason I am expecting a response, ya know, that will be like a --OK Daddy I will never throw another fit, I will listen and do everything you and mama say :) but..the 1st thing you said was... "Why does Santa have so much hair on his face"? I just smiled and gave you a huge hug ...Really that response was the best thing you could have ever said...You are still my little boy and I luv it. You have grown so fast so far, but moments like this one was so great... you still are my little one and as fast as you have been growing I try to hold on to all these moments for as long as possible...
After you said that I said..."He lives at the North pole and its cold so he needs that hair on his face to stay warm. ....You said" Yea" and went back to playing on your carpet rug.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Sometime ago I began reading this book "The Power of Positive Thinking". There are certain things in this book that really touch me. This book was written to suggest techniques and give examples which demonstrate that you do not need to be defeated by anything. You can have peace, improved health, and a never ceasing flow of energy by assuming control over obstacles in your path rather than to be continually controlled by them.
This book also mentions the power of God. In case you are ever wondering, I do believe in a God. As you are aware by now there are many forms and different names of all the Gods that the people of this world believe in. I also hope that you are aware that all these Gods are not that much different from each other. Whatever you do believe in that does not believe in harm or destruction and affirms love and growth, I will support you. I do believe in a heaven and hell...I do believe in karma and I also believe that God will not let us endure things that we cannot handle.
One thing I hope you do accomplish is an understanding of religion and the Holy Bible. In my adult years, I have had many discussions on religion. Of all those conversations, the people who have made the most sense and strongest points, to me, were those people who knew the Bible and religions. Some of those people were firm believers in it and some were just educated on it and some were both of the fore mentioned. Where I stand, is difficult to describe at this point in time. I do pray and I do give thank you's for all of my blessings. And I have prayed with you by my side since you were born. I do not attend church currently, I was baptized in a Baptist church when I was in the 4th grade. I attended many Catholic masses with my dad. When I was in High School I was in a Baptist youth group. I remember praying for safety before every single competitive game I have ever played in, in high school and college. Some of my best memories and longest lasting friendships were from those I met and befriended while in church. So I do believe in a God. I know there is a power and a force greater than all of us. If you pay attention, and listen and analyze and open your heart and your mind without blocking anything.... you will feel it. Why I stopped attending church I really just cannot answer. Lots of things have come and gone for me. I have recollected being frustrated with "The God" I was taught about. Some of that frustration was due to my immaturity and or inexperience. Its said more people have died in the name of God than any other cause or disease in the history of the world. To me that is confusing. My God would not be happy about that and would have something in store for the leader of those people, who led others to die and kill others in the name of a God. Most of all Brock, I seek peace. Peace for everyone everywhere. This world is not peaceful. We have peaceful moments for sure but where peace is....with everyone and everywhere is a place called heaven. I am in the firm belief that if you are a good person, have a conscious, know right and wrong and seek to help others, there will be a spot for you in heaven, no matter what religion you were raised up to believe in. Because when you are raised in a certain part of our world, a young child has no option. If you really look at it all of our major religions and even some of the not so major religions all speak of compassion and forgiveness and love.

There is a section of this book I read tonight that I want to share with you. It was about a young man who was unhappy with his life. He was dissatisfied with his job and current life circumstances. He was ambitious to fill a niche he was missing and improve his current circumstances. His motive seemed unselfish and entirely worthwhile.
He was asked, "Where do you want to go"? He responded, "I just don't know exactly, I have never given it any thought. I only know I want to go somewhere other than where I am". He was told to organize his thoughts figure out his strong points, and utilize the dynamics of practical faith.
He was found later using his best attributes, expecting the best and he expected to attain the best in himself. He had become an editor of a major magazine. He was asked how he did this. He responded, "Because I wanted to". "It was that simple"? He was asked. He simply said, "Oh no, but it was part of the process"
He went on to explain that if you want to go somewhere, you must decide definitely where you want to be or what you want to accomplish. Be sure it is a right objective, then photograph this objective on your mind and hold it there. Work hard and believe in it and the thought will become so powerful that it will tend to assure success, There is a deep tendency to become what your mind pictures, provided you hold the mental picture strongly enough and if the objective is sound.
He pulled a card out that he reads everyday before he starts his day and it became his dominating thought. It says, "A man who is self reliant, positive, optimistic, and undertakes his work with the assurance of success magnetizes his condition. He draws to himself the creative powers of the universe".

It is a well defined and authentic principle that what the mind profoundly expects it tends to receive. Faith power works wonders. Those four words are packed with a dynamic and creative force. Hold them in your conscious mind. Let them sink into the unconscious and they can help you to overcome any difficulty. Big or small. I love you son.



:)

We are Adventurers

Last Wednesday I was off work and I casually got you into school around 9 and went back and cleaned the house, did laundry and some other stuff. It was a bright sunny day. Our friend Tommy the "Drummer" mentioned a couple weeks ago that he and I should go fishing on this day off from work we will have. I called him around 1 and he answered and I said Are you ready to fish? He said I knew you wouldn't forget sarcastically. So He came to my house scooped me up and were off to do some fishing This fishing spot was down right across the bridge by the boat ramp and they have cleared out a walking path that goes out about 3 miles along the river. All the leaves have fallin so you can maneuver through the woods really well and the scenery is breath taking at times. Tom showed up at my house without a pole and looked at me with my outfit of bibs and hat and shades and handkerchief around my neck and said something like you never cease to amaze me.



This is our fishing spot and of course I brought my camera and we took some pics. We had a few beers, talked about life and anything else we could think until the sun set.

My fishing outfit. I really like these bibs. They seem to have a purpose.

This pic I took when I really felt the deepness of our convo was at its peak. We sat there for a good 4 hours. One of the reasons I love to fish correlates with how peaceful fishing really is. The cars passing on the bridge seemed to be in such a hurry, rushing as we all do everyday. But on this day Tom and I were free of that...and we liked it.

Our first and only catch of the day. Nice sized Flathead catfish. We returned him to the water to grow.

Pretty soon later as the sun was falling, up the river on the rock bank above us there was something white that appeared at times to be moving...Tom thought it was a person, I said if that is in fact a person, then he appears to be very secretive or dead. We finished our last beer and decided to investigate, CSI stlye. We gathered our belongings and stashed them by a tree because we would be walking back this way. As we walked up this trail we saw were someone had made a campsite and it was right next to this creek than ran into the Muddy Mo. We couldn't get to that rock bank because this big creek has blocked us.. and by this time darkness was almost here. Some would turn back, but Tom and I would continue up the creek to see if we could cross it somehow. Its was like we were searching for something. Or maybe it was just fun to be in the woods exploring. We started out looking for what we think is a person on a rock but after we found a 50 foot fallin tree, that would guide us across that creek, we found something different.

After crossing on the tree and on the other side of this levee, I found a boat. This boat was on a trailer that was purposely moved to this location..this location was in a field. We were bewildered. Many thoughts came to mind. If that were a person on that rock bank...was this his boat? If no, and there was no person on that rock bank, then why is this boat here? It was such a random find. The inside was badly damaged. There were no windows and by all our accounts it was uninhabitable. So we climbed it, goofed around and Tom goes around the side and finds that the name of this boat was "Satisfaction". By this, we no longer felt the need to see what exactly if anything was on that rock bank. It was also by now totally dark and we had to walk back approx 3-4 miles through the woods and back across the tree... if we fell it would be a 20 ft drop into a terribly messy muddy creek. We were loving every minute of it. It was an adventure. We had discovered something, we had great conversation and we have caught a fish. We were thankful.

Tom scooting his butt back across the log..I stood up and walked it ;)

Your daddy climbing up this tree log to get back home.

My pic of our discovery of the lost ghost ship "Satisfaction".

Creepy stuff.


So that week on Friday. We had a parent/teacher conference with your teacher Mrs. Dottie Dallmeyer at 7:30 am. Your mother was already there, we showed a few minutes late and Mrs Dottie said you are doing very very well at school. She said all of your classmates at school like you and you work very well with others. You are a great listener, follow directions, and that you are very courteous. None of these things really surprise me. I have known for a very long time what a special kid you are. We read every night, you love to draw and you always are creating something. Plus, you really love being outside and playing games. This past weekend I'm folding my clothes in my room and you came down to the closet, got out a box, set it up, told me you are making a clubhouse and asked for a marker and asked me to make a door. I gave you a marker, took a knife, made a door, and a hole in the door so your little fingers could close it when you are inside. I go back to folding clothes and about 10 minutes later you come down and say, "Hey daddy wanna see my house"?. I go into the living room and you have put another piece of cardboard on top of your house that had an overhang... so when it rains you stay dry and put some toys on top of that roof, that you said were your decorations.. I saw that and gave you a big hug and congratulated you on your new house. You then went back to work on it and you seemed to be very proud of it. You are very creative, much like the rest of the people in your family...

I let you know after Tom and I's adventure that I was going to take you on one on Saturday. You never forget those things either.... you have a great memory. Even sometimes when we are driving you know were we are at or if we are close to some body's house you will say over there is where Isabel lives.

Saturday rolls around... you get up turn on some tunes and climb back in bed and we cuddle around for an hour or so and as I am getting up you asked if we were ready for our adventure. I said not yet, we have to eat and I wanna clean up a little bit so you played by yourself while I fixed bacon and eggs and swept the floor. We tend to make messes pretty regularly... We then put on our adventure clothes equipped with boots made for mud. I asked Papa Bill if he would like to go so we had to go pick him up and I called Marcus and he said he would go to.

We had to stop by the gas station...you wanted some Green Soda and so did I.

I dig my hanker wear...My ole friend Tony Primeau got me going with that. We use to wear those while we played wiffle ball and coached baseball or went on a adventure....

Papa Bill and you headin up the river..You wanted to bring the bb gun just in case we see a tiger or a bear or a monster ;)

The Bridge.

You and I walking. This is often our mode of travel...although I notice lately you are choosing to walk by yourself more. This is a very awesome walking path...I plan on doing it more if possible...weather will be a factor..but when it snows we will definitely go here.... I love walking through woods in the snow..you get to see lots of animal tracks a there is something special about that pure white snow with the trees all around.

We get to our campsite...start a fire and..prepare our hotdog roast and smushmellows and set up our fishing spot.

Here you are cooking a hotdog...I really enjoy it out here. It was warmer than I expected..I was honestly thinking about getting my tent and spending the night but decided against it because it does get real cold at night now and you are just still to young for cold weather camping..but rest a sured...this summer we will. Without a doubt.

Marcus and Papa Bill getting a lil bite to eat. Apparently Marcus was real hungry he devoured 4 or 5 and left me with no bread.. :)

As you guys were messing around I went down to the bank and set up 3 fishing poles. Really not expecting to catch anything because it was early in the day and from what I have found catfish either bite early in the morning or at dusk.....

However this was not a day for catching catfish.. this fish, a sturgeon was like a dinosaur..it was prehistoric for sure...it had sharp bones all over the place and I did not attempt to pick it up with my hand..nasty lil devil. After I set the line, I came back 20 minutes later and there it was..you were with Papa Bill Firing bb's I know cause I heard em whistling by... I yelled I got a fish and you came running.

My View.

After that Marcus and Bill went back to the campfire and you stayed with me climbing this bank...it was natures jungle gym. Words cannot describe my love for you Brock. Seeing you grow and do things is simply amazing...like last year, there was no way I could take you down to a major river and stand inches from it and fish and let you do what you are doing on this day. This bank was a tough climb. It was muddy and steep but you tried and tried..you would fall down, shake yourself off and try again and again until you finally conquered it. Then you would do it several more times...the whole time I am just watching you and encouraging you..Whenever you would fall, you would look at me and I would tell you to get up and try again. "You can do it son".

After a fall in the mud. Shaking youself off and preparing for another try.

Me and the river...There is a love I have for this river or nature in general. I feel safe and at home out here. I see what a miracle it all is and how small we really are. Its a feeling of humbleness and gratitude. Mother Nature does not discriminate, her power is infinite and our time here in her eyes are mili-seconds at best. Spending times like these and all times really with you sincerely fill my heart with all the joy God meant for people to experience. More than you will ever know. Until you are a father

Your mud bank climbing hands. I am pretty sure there are parents out there that would freak about there son with muddy hands. The way I see it you are on an adventure and are living..truely living, exploring, letting your instincts and imagination go. Asking questions...getting answers, and creating memories that maybe right before you go to bed you will remember where you have been that day and what you did and you will feel happy. I know I did that night. I love you Brightmoon.

You have a love for trains and you made me take this picture...everytime a train would pass you would yell Train daddy ! A train Daddy....Marcus, Papa Bill..look a train! We would always smile. I know Bill felt real joy this day, He loves you very much Brock.....He will spoil you rotten and he brags about you constantly. I am really grateful he came and I hope he comes with us more often. He is my friend and am very lucky to have him in my life. He is a good guy. Then we have Marcus. He hardly ever passes up a moment or an adventure with us. A while back on his father's flower farm he let us fish on his ponds there. He is also a good guy and am happy we are friends...Friends, Brock are one of the most important things people can have. You may not see them in a while but when you do, its like you have never parted

The infamous creek.

A little while longer we caught another Sturgeon...this time you were with me and the excitment you had was unforgettable I got him off the hook and grabbed the plyers and had you hold him. You are so brave and daring. There was not one inch of fear in you.

This was a grand day.

I see this picture and I am sitting here writing and feel so lucky. So so lucky. Not cause we caught a fish but because I have a son who is my heart and soul. Always remember that Brock.

This is the tree Tom and I crossed on wed. In the dark.

Finally we had to go home. Today was a fine day had by all but we had an unexpected adveneture waiting for us at Papa Bills.




Oh and as we were exploring we found some trees that some beavers did work on. Very cool.



When we got back to drop off Papa Bill I thought it would be a good idea to give you a bath. Papa Bill had been raking leaves to burn and our neighbor convinced Bill to burn this day. We weren't spose to start till the next day so you played w/ grandma for awhile and I helped Bill burn for awhile then went inside and gave you a bath. As I was drying you off, Papa came in and said hey Bock wanna see a firetruck?? Someone had called them and they came to put out our fire because we weren't spose to be doing it yet. Uggghh. I couldn't get your clothes on quick enough. You were out the door.... so of course I had to take pics. What a great day.

The Fire Chief let you sit in the Truck.. I mean really how could he turn you down? :)

Safety First..thats my motto ;)

He was your buddy fosho.

We are Adventurers.

Friday Night Lights

Last Friday I went to pick you up from school and you did one thing you have never before ....you asked me to sit with you and finish the book your teacher was reading out loud It was Scooby Doo, and a character in that sory, a little girl had lost her tooth and the Scooby Doo crew were helping her find itso they could give it to the Tooth Fairy. Usually you will run full throttle and jump into my arms. But this time you asked me to sit with you. I did and was really proud of you and was happy to be sitting with you. You are really taking to your schooling. When we read at night, I will never let you start another book until the one we are currently reading is finished..so that was real cool to see you do that at school to.

On the way home I see there will be a football game at J.C. High school. I asked some tailgaters who the Jay's are playing. That person said Francis Howell. Francis Howell was a school from St. Charles. They are in the same conference my high school was and you always ask to go so I decided it was the time. It was a wonderful day..temp was warm and Friday Night Lights were on....I called Papa Bill to see if he wanted to go , he said no, but Grandma Sherry said she was ordering pizza and for us to come over. The night just got a lil better. We went ate some pizza and left for the game. I pull up to the stadium and parking was outrages. It was a district championship game and it was almost sold out...luckily I know people. A friend of mine, Steve Lochead, lives across the street, I pulled up, he was tailgating and watching the game and drinking.... he flipped me off and I asked if I could park in his driveway...he said sure no problem as long as I have beer..I said no, I'm with Brock... as I was pulling you outta the car and he was like man he is getting big. I said this is his first HS football game..he said good luck. I smiled and shook his hand and his dad's and began our walk to the stadium across the street

As we are walking into the stadium this was our view... Its amazing how nice this field is. these players are really lucky to have something so nice to play on. Maybe some day you will find yourself on this field, battling for a district championship.
So being American and all we have to stop by concessions. I asked if you wanted a hot dog...you said yea..then no after you saw the popcorn. Then this nice girl took our picture, she said you were real cute but looked ornery. I smiled and said she should be a fortune teller..she said I knew you would say that...I just walked away that was a lil bit too weird for me..

We found a place to sit down low to the field and there was a boy sitting close so you decided to take you popcorn to him and sit there for a moment...then you decided it was bleacher climbing time and you said you would be back in a minute and for me to just sit there you will be right back :)

Score was 21 - zip. 1st quarter. Jays up big and I'm glad... Francis Howell was one of my big rivals in high school.


" You stay there daddy, I'll be right back".
And you did....You made a circle and jumped back to me. You were really liking this..You saw lots of kids there and eventually we would find them. I had to chase you through the flower garden but got you to show your muscles 1st.

Here we are with Dawson. His mom is friends with your mama and we sometimes hang out with him at the softball park. He is your buddy.

Then later we find the hill were all the younger kids are and you followed some girls around for awhile and showed off. One of em was Ashton, she is Dawson's sister and a friend of your sissy's

You rolling down the hill showing off your 3 yr old skills.

Upon landing... after a 30 ft roll :)

So we then thought we should go... we stayed until half time and we made our way out and told Steve thanks for the parking spot and you said you weren't tired yet and wanted to say hi to Marcus so we went over there and he was getting ready to go meet some friends but before we left we taught you how to golf a beer can.


We are home and outta the bath and as usual, we get out our books. Fox in Socks is a tough thing to read out loud but we laugh every time... its a tongue twister.



Just a random pic of Jerry that's on my wall.


Would you, could you, in a box?

Would you, could you, with a fox?

I love reading to you...and I love that you love to be read to.


Right before we turn out the lights...we will then tell some stories..if you are satisfied with the story you will roll over and ask me to scratch your back if not you will ask for another story....you like monster stories that always turn out to be where you befriend the monster and make him nice and share your toys with......



The next day I was to go play ball with Rodney Edwards. Rodney is a genuine person. He loves playing like I do and we often, later on in the year will go off and play in what we call a "Rum Dum" tourney. This tournament was just for fun and all the guys there were like us...It was projected to be a nice weekend and boy was it. We played 3 games.

Rod has two young girls. He also was to have a boy but he didn't make it. Knowing him, I know he was very hurt by that. I am not sure when his son went to Jesus but I do know when you are with me, and Rod is there, I can tell he must think about it..what father wouldn't. He is great friend and awesome father. He is a good guy as I am sure you will know by now as you are reading this.

Me and Rod throwin the ball around.

I asked this kid, prolly bout 9 or 10, if he would take pics, He is wearing the green Cards hat above and this is how I have these pics.. He did a great job, I can't remember his name but he sure was happy to be taking pics.

Your daddy squaring up the pitcher

Patiently waiting

Uh oh...heads up infield....WATCH YOUR LIPS!!!! There's a hot liner to left...could be extra bases....

#9 is diggin to first

Ohhhh he's going to 2nd....

He may be thinking bout 3rd...he is..... he's rounded 3rd now... he could go all the way.... and he does....inside the parker....he does it the hard way folks... high fives every where.

Yea thats right.

Water..I need water. Yea beer is fine.

Back on D-fence.

That kid took a creative pic...very nice.

Rod and I returning. It was a good day. You will be a part of a lot of these in the next couple years. Then I will be following you to your games for the next 20 something years.